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bringing up boys

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson is the reason that I’m going to be taking notes as I read books from now on. This book was so crammed full of priceless information that I know I’m going to forget more than I’ll remember. I’ll try to highlight a few of the really key points here.

One point that I will never forget from this book is one that (thankfully) comes pretty naturally to me, at least so far: get involved with your boys. Spend time doing things they like to do, not just dragging them along to do the things you want/need to do. This has been pretty easy so far with my 4 yr old. The things he likes to do are fun: the superman game, the covers monster game, playing with his train set, playing computer games with him. I tried to imagine what it would be like if he was involved in something I didn’t enjoy, like cooking. That’s when I would need to be sure to expend the same effort showing interest and getting involved as I do with things that are naturally fun for me.

Going along with that point: nothing can substitute for your time and attention with your boys. No amount of discipline, freedom, fun toys, gifts, or even encouraging words can take the place of spending quality time (not just time in their presence) with your son.

Although Dobson spends a good bit of the book outlining all the dangers that our boys face today, I somehow came away feeling less pressure. It reassured me that the things my wife and I are focused on are the right things, and that we are providing an environment for Ethan that will give him the best chance to succeed, should he choose to do so. He even says at one point that if your son can make it through the toddler/pre-school years alive, you can consider it a job well done. Meaning, don’t heap ridiculous expectations on yourselves or these young boys when they are small, there will be plenty of opportunity to screw things up when they are adolescents.

I’ll be coming back to this book often as Ethan grows up. I recommend that you work this book to the top of your reading list if you are responsible for raising boys, you won’t regret it.

Tags: bringing up boys, james dobson, Parenting

Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 7:02 pmand is filed under Book Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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